Back To: The Tyranny of Materiality
My Senior photo for the yearbook . . . I never showed
up for my scheduled appointment and Mrs Dietz saw me downtown and snagged
me up for the photo . . . our pictures were taken at the Fenimore
House Museum, or the lawn of, depending how you characterize it . .
. me with no rings and normal hands . . . both pinkies . . . the
reddened mark on my right arm below the hand is a burn mark from a bic
lighter . . . partying in the Cherry Valley School's parking lot . . .
I purposely got the metal top of the lighter scorching hot and pressed
it into my arm . . . it was quite a show . . . I think Sue did it too .
. . the scar is still there even though I don't remember the pain . . .
I do remember that it hurt but that was irrelevant at the time . . . I
remember watching Ophra years and years ago when she aired a show
discussing self-mutilation. I was so excited and amazed --
I wasn't the only one who felt this need to hurt myself. I
have mixed feelings when I analyze this image and the others from
before
. . . I know it's representational of me though the experiential
aspect of memory is blank . . . I am looking at a ghost . . .
